My healing journey

My name is Thandiwe Mokoena, and I’m a 21-year-old university student in Pretoria, South Africa. I’ve always been the “smart one” in my family—the one everyone expected to succeed. Good grades, top of my class, scholarship student. From the outside, it seemed like I had it all figured out.

But behind the books and achievements, I was drowning.

My second year at university hit me hard. The pressure to perform, being away from my family, and comparing myself constantly to others on social media slowly broke me down. I started having anxiety attacks before exams, sometimes even before going to class. My hands would shake, my chest would tighten, and I’d feel like I couldn’t breathe.

At night, I would lie in my dorm room staring at the ceiling, crying silently so my roommate wouldn’t hear. My thoughts became dark—I felt worthless, like a failure, even though I was doing well academically. The worst part? I couldn’t explain why I felt so empty.

I stopped attending classes. I started isolating myself, ignoring calls from my mom, and pretending everything was fine. But it wasn’t.

One day, during a group project, I completely shut down. I couldn’t concentrate, couldn’t speak. A classmate pulled me aside afterward and gently asked, “Are you okay?” That small question shook something in me. It was the first time I felt seen.

Later that night, I searched online and found I Need Help, a South African organization focused on mental health support. Their message was simple: You are not alone. Healing starts here.

I sent them a message through their website, and within a day, I was connected to a kind, understanding counselor. It was the first time I truly spoke about what I was going through—and I wasn’t judged. That conversation changed everything.

With support from “I Need Help,” I began weekly therapy, joined a student support group, and started building healthier habits. Journaling, setting boundaries, taking social media breaks, and daily affirmations became part of my healing process.

My Message to Other Students:

If you’re reading this and feel overwhelmed, sad, or stuck—please know that there is hope. You are not weak, and you are not broken. Depression and anxiety can affect anyone, even the brightest minds.

Speak up. Reach out. You deserve peace.